


babies sticking to walls wasn't included in the job description

by UhmNo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Baby!Peter, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Kid Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UhmNo/pseuds/UhmNo
Summary: Peter Parker turns into a baby... now what?
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	babies sticking to walls wasn't included in the job description

Tony was snuffed out. He was done for the day. He ran out of coffee, and he just needed to sign one more page. The last page.

The last page took extra long to finish, whether it be the fact that he ran out of coffee or the fact that he was just _itching_ for a second to lay down, it seemed like he took forever to finish the whole page, but he got to the end. He let out a long sigh, dropped his pen in the pen holder, and stood up. He blundered towards the door when he heard a _splat_.

He spun around, looking for whatever fell, but he couldn't find anything. He was too tired to do anything, so he just figured he would fix it in the morning when he heard banging on the window. He looked towards the window and nearly fainted. There was a baby. On the window. A f*cking _child._ A living, human toddler. How did it even get there? How was it still there, and not sliding to it's death?

"I must be hallucinating. How is there a two-year-old sticking to my window? FRI, is there a tiny child stuck on the side of the building?"

"It appears so, Boss."

"MISTEW STAAAWK!!!!!"

"I'm hearing things too. I really need to sleep." Tony still hadn't digested what FRIDAY told him and continued walking towards the door.

The baby kept banging its miniature hand on the glass, small cracks branching out from the small, but powerful fist, and with a final blow, the glass shattered. 

Tony, obviously sleep-deprived, screams. Pepper, having just woke up from the racket, opens the door.

"Wh-?" 

"PEPPER! THERE'S A DEMON BABY DESTROYING THE TOWER!" Tony screams, which earns a 'be quiet' from Pepper.

"FRI, run a bio scan, who are the baby's parents?" Pepper mumbles in her drowsy state.

"His parents are Mary and Richard Parker, both deceased."

"Does Peter have a secret little brother?"

"No, that is Peter."

Pepper and Tony were speechless. "FRI, are you hallucinating too? Last time I saw Peter, he was like, 13." They were even more speechless when the baby spoke.

"Mistew Stawk! I, i was fighding this eviw bad guy! an, and, and he shot me wiv a big gun! and it- it made me smaw! can, can you fix it?"

Tony blinked owlishly and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That's it! I'm going to bed. Good night Pepper."

"But- but, mistew stawk! I- i need hewp! I can't be a baby! I-"

Tony looked back, opened his mouth to speak, but he was hit with an enormous amount of force. Peter's puppy eyes. They were even stronger, now that he was a baby and his eyes were bigger. Peter immediately won the battle of willpower, and Tony walked towards him. Peter held his arms out and made grabby motions with his hands. (FRIDAY took a picture, it was too precious of a moment not to.) Tony picked up Peter, treading around the shattered glass.

He looked at Pepper helplessly, who just broke out of a trance. "Don't look at me! I have no experience with babies!" Pepper whisper-shouted, "Take him to Bruce, try to turn him back!"

They stepped into the corridor, going downstairs towards Bruce's lab. It was empty. "Where's Brucie? He's always in his lab," Tony queried. Pepper just looked at him, unimpressed.

"It's the middle of the night."

"Oh, I forgot about that."

They got into the elevator and got FRIDAY to take them to Bruce. That's when Peter started crying. Tony was panicking. He was getting flashbacks to Howard, and his A+ parenting.

Pepper took the child into her arms. She rocked him, sang him sweet little songs, and coddled him to sleep. 

"H- How did you do that?"

"Mother instincts. Now go get Bruce."

"But this is Thor's floor?"

"FRIDAY, give us directions to Bruce."

FRIDAY led them to Thor's room. Tony opened the door, to see Thor and Bruce sleeping peacefully in Thor's bed. Tony's jaw hit the floor for a whole five seconds. Pepper dragged Tony away as quietly as she could.

"Don't interrupt them, they're sleeping."

"We just got blackmail material! Let me back in!"

"Did you really not know?"

"You knew?"

"Everyone knew, you idiot. Everyone but you, apparently."

"Even Clint?"

"Yes, even Clint. Scott found out right when he saw them."

"I-... am I that dumb?"

"Yes."

They went to their own room and Tony started on making a crib for Peter. 

"You know, I didn't know you were so motherly."

"Oh, shut up."

They sat in silence, while Tony finished his creation. He placed it on Pepper's side of the bed, unsurprisingly. Pepper goes to place Peter in the crib, but Peter suddenly breaks out.

"nooooo! i, i don' need a crib! mistew stawwk! miss peppew!"

"Peter, honey, you need to sleep."

"but i habe my own woom! i wanna go thewe!"

"No."

"okay."

Peter sat, pouting, and 'accidentally' broke the crib.

He ended up sleeping in between Tony and Pepper. His only thought was distant. _'Should i tell them i need to go to the toilet? No, I don't want to burden them.'_


End file.
